Nassau is where old men go to impress their noticeably younger women.
Every couple at my bed & breakfast shared the Daddy Warbucks dynamic. I shuddered when I thought what those women put up with at night. (I think that's why they smoked pot.)
It made my stomach churn so much, I almost couldn't finish my Mahi Mahi, caught fresh that morning in the Exumas.
Almost, I said.
It's a tough life, travel writing is. I get paid to drink Kaliks and lose money on slots in Atlantis.
I met the most interesting guy on Nassau. His name was Jean - he was French - and his job was to sell ad space in a ferry circular to restaurants around the Bahamas.
"I leeved on Berry Island for two weeks. Zere was nothing to do." he said. I had no idea where Berry Island was.
"Lemme show you zee map of zee Bahamas. Some travelll write-airrrr!" He scoffed.
As he pointed out in between bites of coconut shrimp, the Caribbean is the worst place to be when you're single and heartbroken. "All of zee newlyweds!" he said. I couldn't agree more. He had the worst job on earth.
So we snuck onto the private beach at the Compass Point Resort. We swam in the turquoise water, then washed our pain away with pina coladas.